I teach dining etiquette to Americans. Many people miss the basics — here are the most common mistakes I see.

• Jayne Withers teaches classes about dining etiquette to both children and adults in Florida.
• She learned about etiquette while studying at Cambridge University.
• The most common mistakes she sees are missing the "please and thank you" and eating too quickly.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jayne Withers, an etiquette consultant from the UK who hosts classes in Florida. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I became an etiquette consultant in 2021 because when I see what I call "another Jayne," I want to help them.

I was always that kid who was a little bit out of place. Learning etiquette when I started at Cambridge University transformed my life.

Whether you use etiquette or not, just having the knowledge gives you the confidence to do the right thing in any situation.

During my classes, I emphasize, 'It's not your fault if you don't know these things'

I come from a working-class background in Preston, England. I remember while I was doing my A-levels, my mum said, "Jayne, can't you just leave school and go and get a job and bring some money in."

But I was motivated to get out of my situation. I didn't have a horrible childhood — I just didn't want to stay in my hometown my whole life. I had an affinity for languages and wanted to travel.

I have a very entrepreneurial friend, and he credits that to his upper-middle-class background and business conversations at the dinner table. For me, at tea, I barely remember my father being there. But if he was, he would say, "Did you do your homework? All right, you can watch TV for half an hour."

When I started at Cambridge University, I knew that with silverware, you start on the outside, and I knew not to talk with my mouth full —but that's about it.

I felt overwhelmed in settings such as our dining hall, which was very "Harry Potter"-esque, but I just sat back and watched everyone else, and that's how I learned.

I credit Cambridge with teaching me how to engage in small talk

I can talk to anyone for hours, but that wasn't always the case.

The skills I gained at events such as cocktail parties at Cambridge have helped me dine all over the world, including at galas in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, and the residence of the British ambassador to the US.

I always enjoyed teaching, which is probably why I started my etiquette business after decades of working in publishing and wellness.

I got certified online through the Swann School of Protocol and started hosting local classes. I now live in Florida, so I mainly advertise through Facebook groups such as Vero Beach Moms, Facebook ads, word of mouth, and local press.

From 2016 to this year, my husband and I ran a restaurant called Sealantro British Cafe, and I used some of the contacts from its mailing list to grow my etiquette business.

I started my classes with children and expanded to adults

Women would come in after booking a class for their child or grandchild and say, "Can you do something about my husband?" That's a very common theme, and that's how I started teaching adults.

I now teach courses on modern formal dining for adults and college students, dining out for children, business dining, international business etiquette, afternoon-tea etiquette, and etiquette for teenagers. They range from $45 to $195.

Little ones are the funniest. Once, while waiting for everyone to be served, one little boy face-planted into his dessert. He looked up with cream and strawberry shortcake over his face. I said, "Why on earth did you do that?" He replied, "Well, you told me not to touch my silverware."

People tell me they feel far more comfortable in business situations after my class

I've lived all over the world, and that has made this job interesting when I'm teaching adults who travel a lot. There are nuances we need to be aware of.

In America, it's common to go into a shop and say, "I need to." In many other countries, it would be socially acceptable only if you started with "Do you have?" or, "Would you mind?"

When I lived in the Caribbean, people would say something to you if you spoke like that. For instance, if you went straight into asking, "What is the time?" Someone might respond, "Good afternoon, how are you today?"

These are the most common mistakes I see

When it comes to dining, the most frequent mistake I see is people starting to eat before the whole table has been served.

Others include leaving dirty silverware on the table instead of the plate, stabbing a chunk of meat and then chewing it off the fork, putting elbows on the table (seriously, no one listened to Grandma), leaning over the plate and shoveling food, eating with an open mouth, talking with a full mouth, and wolfing down a meal rather than following the pace of the rest of the dining party.

In terms of manners, I see many people miss the basics, such as saying please and thank you. One that drives me nuts is RSVP-ing yes to a catered event and then not showing up or sending regrets. I've seen it a lot — even at weddings.

Many people also mix up things such as which knife to use for butter or where to place the knife when using the fork in the American style (it should be left across the top of the plate, blade facing down).

I tell my American clients, 'If you want to stand out when you travel, then keep doing what you are doing'

Netflix's "Emily in Paris" is a good example of this. Emily can't go to a social event and refrain from discussing work, even though French people and other expats keep telling her blatantly: "We don't discuss business at a party." But she does the American thing anyway.

You cannot assume that your culture is right. You have to look at the world through a different pair of glasses. We tend to assume that because we have been taught a certain way, it's the right way. But etiquette is about respect and consideration for others.