I’m 53 and can retire next year with a pension after 30 years of service — but my husband says he needs to work until 65 for our financial security. Should I feel guilty for retiring early?

Should I feel guilty for retiring before my hubby?

When many couples think about retirement, they imagine walking into their golden years together. But that’s not actually the reality for the vast majority of Americans.

Only about 11% of couples retire at the same time, while 62% staggered their retirements by at least a year apart, according to a survey by Ameriprise.

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While that has financial implications for retirement, it also has implications for a marriage.

Say, for example, a woman has been working at the same company for 30 years and now, at age 53, she’s eligible to retire with a good pension. While she won’t be able to claim Social Security benefits until age 62 (or Medicare at age 65), she’s willing to take on some part-time work to bring in additional income.

Her husband is 55, but plans to work until at least 65 for the couple’s long-term financial security — and implies that his wife should do the same. But should she?

The pros and cons of a staggered retirement

A staggered retirement — when one spouse retires before the other — can impact a couple’s finances in retirement, for better or worse.

In this example, if the husband keeps working until 65, he’ll continue earning a salary, so they can continue to invest and build their retirement savings (though as a couple they may have less to contribute overall).

If the husband has private health insurance that covers both spouses, then it may make sense to hold onto that — especially since his wife isn’t yet eligible for Medicare. It could also be a good idea to schedule any major medical procedures, such as a hip replacement, while it’s still covered by private insurance.

The husband can also wait longer to claim Social Security, which means he’ll receive a larger benefit when he does retire — and that benefit will be permanent. You receive your full benefit once you reach your full retirement age (FRA), which is between ages 66 and 67 for most people.

The earliest you can start taking Social Security is age 62, but you’ll receive a reduced benefit. After your FRA, up until age 70, you’ll receive delayed retirement credits — which means a larger permanent benefit.

However, a staggered retirement means the husband could end up shouldering more costs, which could create resentment.

It could also be a problem if they don’t have enough to cover unexpected expenses. For example, if the wife requires an expensive medical procedure and isn’t covered by her husband’s insurance, then the couple might have to dip into their retirement savings, which has long-term implications for their nest egg.

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Setting up your finances for a staggered retirement

So how can this couple set up their finances to live comfortably off one income and one pension?

While the wife has a good pension, she’s only 53, so she won’t be able to claim Social Security until at least age 62, at which time she’d have to take a reduced benefit — and that reduced benefit is permanent.

She’s willing to work part-time. This means they may be able to avoid drawing from their retirement savings until her husband is ready to retire. She may also be able to use those part-time earnings to contribute to everyday expenses, like groceries and utilities, or to the couple’s retirement savings.

The couple will need to calculate how much they’re bringing in with her pension and his salary, and compare that to their current expenses.

Have they paid off their mortgage? Do they have any other outstanding debts? If they’re still paying off their home, the wife may want to hold off on retiring until it’s paid off.

They’ll also have to create a budget for retirement — when they’re both retired.

If they follow the 4% withdrawal rule, they can determine if they’re saving enough to live comfortably when the husband also retires.

But this decision isn’t just about finances. If the husband is still firmly entrenched in the workforce, he may resent his retired wife or experience FOMO (fear of missing out).

His wife may want to travel or pursue other passions in her golden years, but feel lonely because her husband is always at work.

Communication is key. Talking to a financial adviser — and perhaps even a couples’ therapist — can help to set expectations for a staggered retirement.

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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.