Welcome to Loserville: Guaranteed losses in 2024 for every NFC team

Detroit Lions head coach Dan Campbell.

The start of the regular season isn't until Sept. 5 (Baltimore at Kansas City), but we're already daydreaming about NFL games that count.

With teams prepping for mini-camps, we asked Yardbarker NFL writers to dissect schedules and project a guaranteed loss for every NFC team.

Look out, Las Vegas, and welcome to Loserville.

NFC East

DALLAS COWBOYS | vs. Lions (Oct. 13) |The Cowboys haven’t lost to the Lions since 2013 but came close last season, winning 20-19 in Week 17. With this year’s matchup tucked between consecutive road games and a Week 7 bye, they won't be so lucky against a Detroit team with the fourth-best odds to win Super Bowl LIX.

NEW YORK GIANTS | vs. Cowboys (Sept. 26) |After two straight road games against Washington and Cleveland, New York welcomes Dallas to MetLife Stadium in Week 4. Without RB Saquon Barkley (now with Eagles), the Giants don’t stand a chance against the league’s fifth-ranked defense. Without safety Xavier McKinney (now with Green Bay), how will the Giants slow WR CeeDee Lamb and last season's top-scoring offense?

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES | vs. Falcons (Sept. 16) |With their first “home game” played 4,756 miles away in Brazil, the Eagles figure to fall at home to the Falcons on "Monday Night Football" in Week 2. That means Eagles fans will wait until at least Week 6 against the Browns to see a win at Lincoln Financial Field. What a terrible schedule.

WASHINGTON COMMANDERS | at Ravens (Oct. 13) |After playing three of their first five games on the road, the Commanders and rookie quarterback Jayden Daniels will travel to Baltimore in Week 6 to face the Ravens and 2023 MVP Lamar Jackson. Baltimore gave up the fewest points per game (16.5) last season. Washington, which hasn't beaten the Ravens since 2016. gave up the most (30.5). — Bruce Ewing

NFC West

ARIZONA CARDINALS | at Dolphins (Oct. 27) |This game marks a trifecta of problems for the Cardinals. Not only must they play one of the league’s more explosive offenses on the road, but they must do so coming off a short week (Monday night to Sunday) and travel across the country for a 1 p.m. ET kickoff. These are notoriously brutal matchups for teams from the West.

LOS ANGELES RAMS | at 49ers (Dec. 12) | The schedule-makers did not do the Rams any favors here when it comes to one of their toughest divisional matchups. Not only is this road game coming off a short week (Sunday to Thursday), but it also comes just four days after playing another of the league’s top Super Bowl contenders, the Buffalo Bills.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS | at Bills (Dec. 1) |Going into Buffalo for a road game is never easy for any NFL team, no matter how good it is. Playing the Bills on the road on a Sunday night in December is one of the toughest challenges in the league and by far the toughest challenge the 49ers will face all regular season.

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS | at Lions (Sept. 30) |The Seahawks have one of their tougher stretches of the season from late September until early October, and this Sunday night game in Detroit (just one week after playing Miami) is going to be a major challenge. The Lions have one of the best offenses in the NFL, perhaps better than the high-powered Dolphins. — Adam Gretz

NFC North

CHICAGO BEARS | at Texans (Sept. 15) |In addition to facing the challenges of adjusting to a host of new parts, the Bears and rookie quarterback Caleb Williams get an early road test, taking on C.J. Stroud and the defending AFC South champion Texans in primetime. Since 2002, quarterbacks selected No. 1 overall are a combined 0-8-1 when starting Week 1 of their rookie campaigns, which doesn't bode well for the ex-USC standout or for the Bears.

DETROIT LIONS | at Cowboys (Oct. 13) |After a relatively breezy start to their schedule, the Lions go on an early bye before their first real challenge in Week 6. The Cowboys haven't lost to the Lions in Arlington since 2011 and went undefeated at home during the 2023 regular season (8-0), including a controversial win over the Lions in Week 17. This goes against my colleague Bruce Ewing's "guaranteed" pick above.

GREEN BAY PACKERS | at Lions (Dec. 5) |After their Week 10 bye, the Packers will face a gauntlet of tough competition, including matchups against the Chicago Bears (Nov. 17), San Francisco 49ers (Nov. 24) and Miami Dolphins (Nov. 28) before a Thursday night contest on the road against the Lions in Week 14. Already among the top-tier contenders in the NFC, Detroit has beaten Green Bay in four of its past five meetings.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS | vs. 49ers (Sept. 15) | The Vikings won't have to wait long to get into the swing of things early in the season, facing arguably their most challenging opponent in Week 2 against the defending NFC champion 49ers, who lost only twice on the road in 2023. Following last season's disappointing Super Bowl loss, San Francisco will be looking to begin 2024 hot. This won't be a pretty outing for Sam Darnold, who presumably will start at QB for the Vikings over rookie J.J. McCarthy. — Mike Santa Barbara

NFC South

ATLANTA FALCONS | vs. Chiefs (Sept. 22) | Kirk Cousins versus Patrick Mahomes on Sunday night? Atlanta fans already may be wincing. The new Falcons QB is notoriously poor in prime time — he 3-10 on “Monday Night Football" — so this "SNF" game could get ugly.

CAROLINA PANTHERS | at Saints (Sept. 8) |New Orleans handed Carolina one of its most lopsided 2023 losses in the Superdome last December. The Saints also frustrated new Panthers head coach Dave Canales’ offense in Tampa Bay, where he was OC last season, by holding the Bucs to 13 points in Week 17. Carolina is staring at a third consecutive 0-1 start.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS | at Packers (Dec. 23) | The Saints must contend with potentially bitter weather for a night game at Lambeau Field in late December and Packers rising star quarterback Jordan Love. He ripped their hearts out last season, engineering a 17-point comeback in an 18-17 Green Bay win.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS | vs. Ravens (Oct. 21) |In a battle between the best quarterback taken in the 2018 NFL Draft and the first one selected, we’re taking two-time league MVP Lamar Jackson. Mayfield, the No. 1 overall pick in 2018, is 2-6 all time against Jackson, who was selected with the last pick of Round 1 in the same draft, in their eight head-to-head matchups as starting quarterbacks. — Eric Smithling

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