‘Life mentor’ girl, 3, adored for mature way of speaking by 4.9 million fans online, prompts debate on raising daughters in China

Niu grew up in a bilingual home, learning English from her father, raised in the US, and Chinese from her mother. Photo: Douyin

• Little girl offers her followers moments of wisdom that leave fans astounded
• Parents promote equality between child and parents, which flies against filial piety

A three-year-old girl in China who has become famous for her moments of profound wisdom caught on video has sparked a heated debate about whether daughters should be brought up according to traditional values.

The girl, who goes by the nickname Niu, lives in Beijing and boasts 4.8 million followers on Douyin, China's TikTok, because of her mature way of speaking and her deep philosophical insights.

Her fans call her a "life mentor" due to moments of brilliance, such as when she picked up fallen flowers, placed them in her hair, and said: "This is free beauty."

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After she expressed regret for giving away a gift that she liked, the little girl said: "Don't let embarrassment hold you back."

In another video, while sitting by the window watching the sunset and skyscrapers, Niu asked her mother what would happen if the buildings were to "break".

Her mother replied that people would repair and maintain the buildings. Niu replied: "So, what is obtained through effort is always cherished by the people."

Niu grew up in a bilingual home, with her father having spent his childhood in the US before moving to China to be closer to his family.

She learned English from him and Chinese from her mother, seamlessly switching between the two languages.

Her parents always try to engage Niu in discussions and encourage her to express herself in front of the camera.

On her mother's birthday, Niu expressed her gratitude with the innocent words: "Thank you, mum, for waiting for me since your birth."

On weekends, Niu's parents take her on hikes, introducing her to new adventures and sharing knowledge, including identifying flowers and recounting the history of buildings.

In one video, Niu wanted her grandfather to sleep with her at night, but her grandfather suffers from hypertension and needed to rest alone, which left her heartbroken and in tears.

Her father, speaking in English over the phone, told her: "Sadness doesn't solve problems, but communication does."

He explained to Niu the reasons behind her grandfather's condition, asked about her love for her grandfather, suggested she sleep with her grandmother, and expressed gratitude for her willingness to communicate.

Niu's upbringing breaks traditional Chinese beliefs, in which daughters are expected to be obedient and gentle because they will eventually be expected to provide for another family.

However, Niu's parents guide her towards independent thinking and promote equality between parents and their children, nurturing her to become an optimistic and wise individual.

Their parenting approach has inspired many people on mainland social media.

"Parents are the first teachers of children," said one on Douyin.

"I really need to have more patience and respect for my son because he is excellent, but I've been suppressing him," said another.

One online observer commented on Douyin: "In my 40 years, this is the first time I've heard such wise words."

Another said: "Niu's high emotional intelligence and exceptional expression skills reflect the excellent upbringing by her parents."

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This article originally appeared on the South China Morning Post (www.scmp.com), the leading news media reporting on China and Asia.

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